I’ve never really fit in anywhere. 

I’m too liberal for Republicans and too conservative for Democrats.

Too spiritual for the Baptists and too worldly for the Pentecostals.

I’m too loud for the introverts and too quiet for the extroverts.

I make too much money, according to the Millenials and Gen Z’rs, and haven’t saved enough, according to the Boomers. Which…well….whatever. Both those groups usually ignore us Gen X’rs anyway.

I’m too crunchy for the PTA mommas and too silky for the homeschool mommas.

I’ve got too much book knowledge for sports fans, and I’m not smart enough for the Ph.D.’s.

I think too much like a dude for most women, and I’m too emo for most men.

I’m too much of a hot mess for some people, and I have it too together…wait…who am I kidding? I’m just a hot mess. 

The point is, I’m too much for a lot of people and not enough for the rest. 

And for most of my life….I’ve been fine with that. Oh, sure…early on, I tried real hard to be whoever people expected me to be, but one day, I just realized the only person I have to be is the one Jesus created me to be. 

Crazy thought, but I think many people reading this could relate to feeling out of place. If we were honest, I’d bet many would agree that most of the problems in our world today could be summed up in the fact that, collectively, we are in the midst of a ginormous identity crisis. 

Think about it. Religious groups, political groups, sexual orientation groups, sports fans/groups, professions, and even large corporations all have their own “culture.” People flock to whatever it is they feel they identify with. But is it who they really are? If a doctor stops being a doctor, do they still have an identity? If sports teams suddenly disappeared, would a Cowboys fan stop existing? I’m sure someone reading this would like that, but seriously…

These questions may seem silly, but look around. People are amassing to one side or another of various social issues because it “feels” right. Like somehow, grabbing hold of something that appears virtuous or siding with the “right” group makes them important, included, or even moral. 

Much of our daily thought patterns involve putting others (and ourselves) in boxes. Whether it be careers, political persuasions, or church affiliations, we’ve got a box for that.  Yet we come away feeling….unfulfilled, judgemental, and empty.  

And social media continues to help fan the flames of our identity crisis and division.  

Trying to sort through the steady barrage of voices and opinions and reeling from our unresolved traumas, middle-aged worry, and the nagging feeling that the person in the mirror is a complete stranger, we adults are now attempting to parent and lead the next generation. 

And it’s not going well.

Our children are faced with a steady barrage of gender and sexual confusion, cyber-pressure to conform to what society deems normal, and a regular diet of misinformation from their peers and disillusioned adults currently dealing with their own identity crisis.

We’ve allowed society, family, the government, and even the church to dictate who we should be instead of finding our identity in the One who created us. 

Coming out of a hyper-fundamentalist organization has made me take a hard look at identity. I’ve heard a thousand sermons preached on “Apostolic Identity” when “A Jesus Identity” would have sufficed. It made me see how easy it is to conform to ideology, tradition, and other people’s opinions.  

 Maybe you’re not a religious person. That’s fine. Just know that your identity is still easily swayed by opinions, feelings, Amazon Prime, Fox or CNN, Instagram, and the culture around you. But that’s not really who you are. 

We wonder what is wrong with our society, our organizations, and our family structure, yet it’s right in front of our mirrors.

So, what’s the answer? Maybe honesty. With ourselves and others. What would happen if we started listening to others with different opinions? What if we were willing to admit that we don’t know everything, and instead of hopping on social media to call out a Trump or Biden supporter, expound on inclusivity, or cyber-punch someone in the face with scripture, we’d take a look at ourselves?  What if we re-evaluated where our values lie and the impetus of our time and energy?  

Perhaps we’d discover the identity boxes we’ve created for ourselves may be far shallower and hollower than we realize. 

Embracing our authentic selves, not our imagined identity, would change how we live, view ourselves, and treat others. If we so dared to live this way, to embrace this freedom, I’d be willing to bet the world would be a far kinder place. 

In the meantime, I’ll just be over here continuing to refuse to conform to the box society says I belong in.

Guess I’ve always been a rebel…..but also too much of a conformist for the hardcore insurgents.