Arkansas should come with a warning label. 

A massive sign with red lettering at the border of Oklahoma reading: “Warning: Brown Recluse, Black Widows, Lyme disease-carrying ticks, and Poison Hemlock await you. Enter at your own risk.” I’m pretty sure this state is trying to kill me and my entire family. 

Someone over here has almost died on at least four different occasions in the last month. Me, three times just from seeing brown recluses. Or at least what I perceive to be a brown recluse. Yes, I’m counting the time I moved the couch, found a large brown hair claw clip, and was convinced I’d just found the mother of all spiders, effectively making my heart leap out of my chest. 

Did you know Brown Recluses like to hide UNDER the toilet seat?! Think about that the next time you plop your hiney down for your daily constitution. I used to yell at the boys to put the seat down in my house. Now I’m screaming at the girls to leave the thing up, and I think my family is going to have me committed soon. 

The man-child got bit by a tick the first two weeks we were here, and it immediately took on a target-like shape.  Probably for other ticks to find. Anyway, he had to be started immediately on Lyme Disease Prevention Protocol. Not even sure what that is. I think it’s just a fancy way of saying, “Here’s some high-priced antibiotics.” The good news is that he does not have Lyme disease. The bad news is that I now make all the kids and the Hubs wear flea and tick collars when they go outside. 

Just bugs overall here are overwhelming. The Hubby got so desperate he ordered several bug zappers and is outfitting every room in our house with one. He’s just disappointed they don’t make the zapping noise when a bug flies to his death. I think we both need therapy. 

But….it’s still worth it. It’s worth it to know we’re in the will of God. School has started, and my kids are settling in, finding their people and their path. Real estate is crazy and keeping both Hubby and me busier than ever. I started working for an incredible brokerage, and I have to learn new things, systems, and routines, but I’m growing. AND….I even started teaching dance again!!! How cool is that?? As an added bonus, we went from seeing several Brown Recluses a day to a couple once a month.

My mother and father-in-law live 8 minutes up the road, making them convenient for date nights, and we get to hang out with them several times a week…just because! No holiday or special occasion needed!

We miss Texas our friends, but we’re also finding our people here. It’s a fresh start on so many levels. This journey has been exciting and cathartic simultaneously. New home, schools, and people have allowed us to to figure out who we are again. We discovered that somewhere amid our church experience, we had lost our identity. 

Our identity in Christ, that is. 

See, it appears we had substituted it for an “Apostolic Identity” and have since realized that these two are not mutually exclusive. We’d been part of a religion, and while some of it was good, and we learned much about Jesus, a lot of it was detrimental to what was important—the relationship with Jesus.

Moving location geographically has allowed us to move on emotionally, mentally, and, yes, spiritually. We’ve been able to evaluate scripture solely on scripture and not someone’s opinion or tradition. It’s been liberating. 

Oh, I’ve heard the whispers. 

“They’re just hurt and bitter.”

“They’re backslidden.”

Or my personal favorite, “They just didn’t want God.”

Maybe there is still a little hurt left over. I mean, anyone who has experienced abuse of any kind would agree hurt lingers. But we are most certainly not backslidden. 

And frankly, people who leave a holiness church, or any other church for that matter, don’t typically do so because they “don’t want God.” I think if you belong to a church that uses this, you should check yourself and your leaders. Only God knows people’s hearts. Not the pastor and certainly not the congregation.  

As Christians, we are simply called to love people. Whether they look like us, love like us, vote like us, or even <gulp> believe like us. It’s not up to us to determine whether someone is saved, almost saved, or whether or not they’ve gotten the “revelation” of whatever it is we think they need to get.

Being in a brand new place has allowed us to breathe, let our guard down, and given us the space to truly hear from God.

So, I have to say that after 18 years, we feel like we found Jesus. 

Even if we did have to move to Arkansas to do so.

And co-exist with Brown Recluses. 

It’s so worth it.