When Motherhood Tests Your Faith (and Your Sanity)

/ katherinegrote8

I have four amazing children. They’re my sun, moon, heart, and every other sappy thing people say.
Also—the oldest is twenty-I-know-everything-about-life years old, two are teenagers, and the youngest is 11 going on 35.

So yes, they’re also the reason for the tic under my left eye and the mysterious 3 a.m. wake-ups in a cold sweat.
(Okay, maybe that’s perimenopause. Jury’s still out.)

Holy Mornings

Every day starts with good intentions. Coffee in hand, I’m reciting Bible verses about patience and grace, ready to conquer motherhood like a Proverbs 31 poster momma.

By breakfast, we’re eight eye-rolls and four “I know, Moms” in, and I’m quoting Leviticus like it’s a threat:

> “Thou shalt not roll thine eyes at thy mother.”

Meanwhile, the 20-year-old is calling in tears over a B on her exam, the 18-year-old insists his teacher “just doesn’t like him,” and the 11-year-old has managed to offend a kid at school with her brutally honest old-soul commentary.

By 10 a.m., I’m wondering if my official job title is Uber driver, therapist, or prison warden.

When You Forget Who You Are

Here’s the truth I have to preach to myself daily:
My identity is not found in my kids’ behavior.

Because it’s easy to fall into the trap, isn’t it?

  • When your kid is nailing their grades, leading youth group, and remembering to floss, you feel like the mom version of Mother Teresa.
  • But when that same kid forgets homework, slams doors, or sneaking out of the house, suddenly you’re Googling “boarding schools near (or not so near) me.”

The truth? God never intended us to build our entire worth on the performance of tiny humans who once thought eating dirt was a good idea. Or on big humans who can’t survive without Wi-Fi.

Social Media Isn’t Helping

You scroll Instagram and see:
> “My 4-year-old just memorized the book of Psalms and knit hats for orphans in Antarctica!”

Meanwhile, your teen glares at you for waving at their friend from the car window.

Let’s be real. Your worth isn’t determined by how cool your teenager thinks you are or how “Pinterest-perfect” your family looks.
Jesus isn’t up in heaven updating your spiritual report card based on your child’s GPA or table manners.

Stop comparing yourself to anyone on social media. Those influencers aren’t better moms, they’re just better editors.
Comparison is the thief of joy, and most of those “perfect family moments” you see?
They’re staged for clicks and brand deals, not built on peace and grace.

The Hard Truth About Parenting Today

Look, parenting is hard.
I joke about it here and on social media, but there are days I want to drink an entire bottle of wine, pull the covers over my head, and pray no one under the age of forty walks into my room until morning.

Because there are things no parenting book prepares you for. Not just the classic “say no to drugs” talks, but the real, modern battles our kids are facing:
screen addictions, porn addictions, loneliness, self-esteem issues compounded by social media, cyberbullying to the point of suicide, and a rise in neurodivergent, processing, and spectrum-related challenges that so often go unseen.

It’s heartbreaking and overwhelming sometimes. These are the moments that test us, not just as parents, but as people clinging to faith in a world that feels heavier than it used to.

The Real Source of Our Identity

> “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” — Colossians 3:3

It doesn’t say your life is hidden in your child’s grades, their friends, or their Snap streaks.

> “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” — 2 Corinthians 5:17

You’re not a “work in progress depending on your teen’s hormone levels.”
You are fully loved.
Fully forgiven.
Fully His.

Whether your kid is testifying at youth group, or giving you attitude because you asked them to take out the trash.

A Few Survival Reminders (From a Mom Still Learning)

  • Start your day with grace. Before checking your phone, find a quiet moment with scripture or prayer.
  • Forgive quickly. Yourself and everyone else. You won’t get it right all the time, and that’s okay.
  • Unfollow if necessary. If someone’s perfect mom-life posts steal your joy, unfollow in peace.
  • Laugh often. Sometimes motherhood is equal parts comedy and chaos.
  • Find your people. The “same girl, same” friends are worth their weight in caffeine.
  • Remember whose you are. You are God’s daughter, not your teenager’s emotional support human.

In Conclusion

Yes, we want to raise kind, grounded, godly kids. But even on their worst days, God’s love for you doesn’t change.

You are not your child’s behavior.
You are His.

And friend, that’s the kind of identity no teenage eye-roll can shake.

Originally inspired by a piece I wrote for livingbydesign.org. Updated here for my Conversations with Coconuts readers—because motherhood and faith deserve both honesty and humor.

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